My Vegetarian Story

When I was 17 or 18 years old (turning 42 later this year), a friend of mine shared with me the horrors of animal farm factories and about the cruelty involved in testing so many personal products we find lining the shelves of our grocery and drug stores. I joined her in becoming a vegetarian, and I stopped eating all meat. I continued to eat dairy products and eggs that were used as ingredients in cakes, cookies, and other recipes. I am not sure why now, but the cruel realities of dairy and hen farming were not known to me then. 

I was very young, and as much as I love my mother, I have to tell you she didn't then and doesn't now have very healthy eating habits. I really knew nothing about cooking, and my favorite vegetables were potatoes. So, I became a junk food vegetarian. I felt good about what I was doing for the animals, but it wasn't great for my health.

That stretch of junk food vegetarianism lasted about seven to eight years. I ate a ton of processed foods, minimal vegetables, and I was losing my health. I learned of the blood type diet, which said that as a blood type O person I ought to be eating some meat (animal protein in general), and that I should stay away from wheat products. I was doing the exact opposite, and since I didn't feel healthy (in fact I was very lethargic and run down) I figured there must be something to this blood type diet thing.

After a lot of thought and consideration I changed my diet back to one that included animal proteins. I vowed to give thanks to the animals whose lives were sacrificed for my survival. I also essentially gave up junk food, because the diet recommended O's eat tons of vegetables with their 4-6 ounces of animal flesh. And guess what? I felt better and stronger. It must be the meat! My parents and I were convinced that was the case, never taking into account the fact that I had started eating more vegetables--both in quantity and variety--and little to no junk food.

I continued on like that for a while, but the junk food crept back in. My weight fluctuated, I dieted, and I managed to keep my weight in the higher range of what was considered healthy for my height and build. 

Flash forward to the year my husband and I moved in together. I had learned a thing or two about cooking, and I really enjoyed making large, scrumptious dinners for us. I then proceeded to gain 30-40 pounds, and I did not feel so strong or healthy any longer even though my diet included meat, poultry, and fish. 

In the back of my mind, I was always haunted by the feeling that I should follow a vegetarian diet. Preparing meat, poultry, or fish ALWAYS grossed me out, and I never felt I could create anything from scratch meat-wise. I always needed a recipe to follow or it all just tasted like rubber. But vegetable dishes on the other hand, I can make up a recipe and 99% of the time get rave reviews. 

I stopped eating meat again in 2009 or 2010, but this time something in me snapped. I wanted to join PETA and protest, educate and convert every meat eater. I was fanatical, and by my own admission, probably very irritating. I was obsessed. I was also increasingly depressed and hopeless, because no one was listening, and no one seemed to care. In fact, most people went out of their way to tell me how much they loved eating meat and how since hearing what I had to say, have begun to eat even more meat. 

Feeling isolated and plain devastated, I took a step back. I love animals, but I wasn't helping them much, plus I was making myself miserable. It was a sad time for my spirit, and I was tired of fighting. After all, my goal was peace, yet it felt as though I had opened the door to immeasurable strife and conflict. I blended back in and began eating meat. 

In the last few months of 2013, that vegetarian consciousness started to poke at my heart again. I felt like a fake. When I would see a picture of a cow or cows grazing along the highway, there would be a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was following the Nutrisystem diet, and although I wanted to lose weight, a lot of their foods have meat in them. I was prepared to quit altogether until January when a college friend posted on Facebook that she was just starting on Nutrisystem. 

Eager to lose these many pounds I have been carrying around for a little over 5 years now, I decided to stick with Nutrisystem. And it has been going great. My friend and I talk almost daily about the diet, supporting each other while we drop the pounds. But guilt continued to gnaw at my heart, until one day I was perusing the different plan options offered by Nutrisystem and discovered they have a vegetarian plan. 

I changed my next order, arriving later this week, to the vegetarian plan. I still have about five lunches and a dinner with meat in them. Come Saturday, I will be able to follow a vegetarian diet again. I plan to eventually transition to vegan, but I need to get my portion sizes under control first. If there is one thing I have learned about myself, it is that I need to transition into things slowly.  

My plan is also to lead by example, not by words. If anyone is interested in what I am eating, great. But I will not try to convince anyone to go vegetarian ever again. I am living for me and feeling good about my contribution to this life.